...walks into a bar

» Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
» A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
» A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
» A dyslexic man walks into a rab.
» A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
» Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
» Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
» "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
» Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" Exclaimed Daisy.
» Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
» Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
» I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'
» Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
» What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.